As we round out 2011 and start to look forward to a new year, I want to challenge you to a Non-New-Year's Resolution. That's right – I want you to throw that calendar aside and start right now! So here's the challenge…


Stop sabotaging yourself in the name of humor or drama.

 

What I mean by that is…the seemingly harmless self-deprecating or otherwise negative remarks you may throw around to get a laugh or emphasize a point actually poison your mind. What you talk about and focus on is what will be cemented into your mind as the truth. You are literally shaping your reality with your words.

If you're not where you want to be in your job, a relationship or your life in general, this is especially important. Start taking a closer look at what you're saying to others and to yourself. If you find yourself constantly talking about how much your job sucks or how a relationship is just impossible, that's where all of your mental energy is focused – on the sucky parts! It may seem trivial, but it has a huge impact.

 

The Perfect Venue

As we broadcast our lives online more and more, status updates and Tweets offer the perfect opportunity to throw out a sarcastic comment or adopt a "misery loves company" approach. Resist it. You may say you were just kidding, but here's the kicker:

Your subconscious mind doesn't understand humor.

It takes every comment you utter and files it away as the truth. And until you start over-riding the negative comments, you are actively reinforcing them.

Browsing through Facebook, it didn't take long to find these perfect examples within my news feed:  

• "Day from hell!!!! Everything that could go wrong did!!"

• "I suck at it and I HATE it." (referring to gift wrapping, in this instance)

• "Looks like another painful day :( "

…and these are just a few that were short and easy to cut and paste! I'm not even touching the diatribes on why a given situation or person sucks. The point being...it's not hard to find someone who is talking about what's wrong with the world, other people or themselves.

Yes, a lot of these types of posts are thrown out there for the sake of humor or exaggerated drama, but I'm willing to bet the mindset behind them is not limited to online comments. How you approach things – a situation, your career, your role in a relationship, your life – is a key element to what you'll get out of it. If you expect the worst, guess what? You'll get it.

 

The Challenge

Listen, no one's perfect. We all say things along these lines from time to time. But I challenge you to simply start noticing the correlation between what you're saying and your results. Think twice before using self-deprecating humor or posting a negative comment. While it may get a chuckle from some of your friends, it's most significant effect is the negative reinforcement it sends to you.

So forget about that cliché of a January 1st start date, and get on board with this Non-New-Year's Resolution today. Start noticing some of those doozies you throw out there and if you're brave, share your best ones in the comments below.

Best wishes to you all for a safe and happy holiday season!